by Dr. Paul Chappell

"So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."

John 13:12-17

Love means putting aside your own plans and focusing on the needs of your spouse.

I once read an article about a 2005 marriage survey done on families in America. Here are some of the results:

-There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005-down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.
-The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6-the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990.
-In 2004, the state with the highest reported divorce rate was Nevada, at 6.4 (per 1,000). Arkansas was a close second, with a divorce rate of 6.3, followed by Wyoming at 5.3. The District of Columbia had the lowest reported divorce rate, at 1.7, followed by Massachusetts at 2.2 and Pennsylvania at 2.5.
-The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University reports that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents-the lowest figure in the Western world.
(Sources: US Census Bureau, National Center for Health Statistics)

While the divorce rate has lowered some (understandably with fewer marriages per year), we can all agree that marriages in America are struggling. Whether it's addiction, infidelity, loss of love, anger, impatience, or mistrust; many marriages are close to breaking.

But God desires for marriages to be a godly union and display of His love. While you may not be able to change your spouse's annoying habits or idiosyncrasies that grate your nerves, you can selflessly love them. Just as Jesus selflessly loved those who persecuted Him.

Let's look at two ways a husband or wife can love their spouse:

Love by serving. Jesus demonstrated this perfectly when He willingly girded Himself as a servant and washed the disciples' feet. No one told Him to perform this act, but He saw what needed to be done and did it. Notice also that Jesus didn't expect any praise or gratitude for the act. His motive was purely out of love for His disciples.

How often do you selflessly serve your spouse? Whether it's picking up after them, doing things to help them, or cleaning up things that might not be "your duty", doing the little things goes a long way in showing love to your spouse. Daily take time to ask yourself: "What can I do today to help my spouse have a better day?"

Love by sacrificing. Sometimes we don't feel like doing what our spouse wants to do. Maybe all you want to do after work is relax at home, but your spouse wants to go shopping, go to dinner, talk about their day, work on a home project, or air out a problem they're having. Love means putting aside your own plans and focusing on the needs of your spouse. Love is giving of yourself.

How can you love your spouse today? If they're in a hurry to get to work, what can you do to help them? If they have a project to work on at night, how can you assist them? If they had a rough day, how can you help make it better? Be looking for ways you can love by serving and sacrificing for the one you love.

To learn more about the ministries of Lancaster Baptist Church and Pastor Chappell, please visit lancasterbaptist.org, paulchappell.com, or follow him on twitter.

Daily Bible Reading
Job 32-33 | Acts 14