by Dr. Paul Chappell

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."

Ephesians 5:25-31

Wives need their husbands not only to lead them but also to love them.

Someone once described marriage as agreeing to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that's too hot beside a person who thinks the room's too cold. Certainly marriage is a union of compromise in many little preferences and idioms. But through all the ups and downs, God desires that marriage would be a union that would draw two people closer to Him.

Sadly, nearly half of all marriages today end in divorce. While we are to love and help those hurting from divorce, as married couples, we must do all we can to maintain a strong relationship and nurture godliness in our marriage. One way we can do that is by following God's command for both the husband and the wife.

A few days ago we saw God's command to wives: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing" (Ephesians 5:22-24). Today, let's look at God's command to husbands: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25).

Some would point to God's commands to both spouses and say that a husband's command to love is easier done than a wife's command to submit. But notice what type of love a husband is to have for his wife.

The love Christ speaks of in Ephesians 5:25 is not an emotional or fleshly love. It's not a friendly or love of companionship. The love a husband is to have for his wife is a sacrificial, preferential love.

Husbands, God wants you to honor and prefer your wife in love. He wants you to pay attention to her and her needs, care for her well-being, and protect her from all harm. You are to be the strong leader in your home, but are also to balance that with a selfless love that cares for your wife.

In order to illustrate this love, God describes a husband's love as the love Christ has for the church. Jesus didn't simply establish the church, train its leaders, and send them to do His work. Christ died a cruel death so the church could be founded. Without Christ's death, there is no church. The love Jesus had for the church took Him from Heaven's perfection to Calvary's death.

Husband, how much do you love your wife? Saying you love her and showing her you do are two different things. Don't become so self-consumed and self-centered that you neglect your wife. Stop caring only for your needs, and help meet her needs. She needs you-spiritually, emotionally, and physically. She needs you to lead her, but she also needs you to love her.

Ask God to give you a better understanding of His love for the church, so you can display that love to your wife. Rather than overlooking your wife today, do something nice for her. Take time to show her that you love her not just theoretically, but as much as Christ loves His church.

To learn more about the ministries of Lancaster Baptist Church and Pastor Chappell, please visit lancasterbaptist.org, paulchappell.com, or follow him on twitter.

Daily Bible Reading
Job 30-31 |Acts 13:26-52