by Dr. Paul Chappell

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Ephesians 6:4

Your actions are a far greater teacher than your words.

J.A. Peterson tells the story in his book For Families Only of a poll a Sunday school teacher once took of her ten year old class. The teacher asked the children to answer the question, "What's wrong with grownups?" and the class came up with these answers:

-Grownups make promises, then they forget all about them, or else they say it wasn't really a promise, just a maybe.
-Grownups don't do the things they're always telling the children to do--like pick up their things, or be neat, or always tell the truth.
-Grownups never really listen to what children have to say. They always decide ahead of time what they're going to answer.
-Grownups make mistakes, but they won't admit them. They always pretend that they weren't mistakes at all-or that somebody else made them.
-Grownups interrupt children all the time and think nothing of it. If a child interrupts a grownup, he gets a scolding or something worse.
-Grownups never understand how much children want a certain thing-a certain color or shape or size. If it's something they don't admire-even if the children have spent their own money for It-they always say, "I can't imagine what you want with that old thing!"
-Grownups are always talking about what they did and what they knew when they were 10 years old-but they never try to think what it's like to be 10 years old right now.

Your greatest parenting tool is your actions. Whether you consciously think about it each day, your children are watching your life. They hear you when you tell them not to say certain words, but listen to you yell those words at the motorist who cut you off. They hear you tell them to be kind to their siblings, but watch you angrily react toward others at the supermarket. Your words aren't simply teaching your children. Your actions are telling them far greater things about your life.

While daily teaching and talking to our children about how to act and what to say in situations is important, don't forget that you're also teaching your children even when you aren't thinking about it. Like sponges, your children will soak up everything they see-the good and bad. We may try to limit their exposure to the evils of our world, but do we then show them those sinful actions through our lives?

God doesn't expect parents to be perfect before their children. You will make a mistake or mess up with your children watching. When that happens, don't be too prideful to seek forgiveness from your child. If you blow up in anger in front of them, explain to them why that was wrong, what God says about it, and ask for your forgiveness. Your child may not understand the need for your forgiveness, but they will be taught that while you aren't perfect, you are trying to live a godly life.

What are your actions teaching your child? The next time you're tempted to react harshly or say something negative in front of your children, remember that they will copy your actions and words, even if you have told them not to. Your actions are a far greater teacher than your words.

To learn more about the ministries of Lancaster Baptist Church and Pastor Chappell, please visit lancasterbaptist.org, paulchappell.com, or follow him on twitter.

Daily Bible Reading
Psalms 77-78 | Romans 10